12 Things To NEVER Say To A Harry Potter Fan

“You have the emotional range of a teaspoon…”
Ringing any bells for you? If not, I hope you excuse my bluntness when I ask you, what are you doing here? HARRY POTTER!! Of all the fanbases in the world, I think it is safe to say that Harry Potter is considered a legend. It’s like the great great grandfather of all the other fandoms everywhere.
So because I’m feeling more Potter-ish this week (and because school has begun, being yet another reminder of how I NEVER GOT TO GO TO HOGWARTS), I’ve decided to make a list. A list of 12 things to NEVER say to a Harry Potter fan.


  1. “They’re just children’s books.” Yeah, and you’re just a muggle, but it’s not like I take time out of my day to tell you that. Muggle.
  2. “I haven’t read any of the books.” Yeah, instead you probably spent all that time you could have been reading, eating the filling between oreos and then throwing them at innocent children.
  3. “Quidditch is stupid.” Or even worse “Quidditch isn’t a real sport.” Try telling me that while you sit on a broom 50-something feet in the air with a bludger aimed at your head.
  4. “Harry isn’t actually smart or brilliant. He just has a lot of luck and a cool scar.” Someone actually said this to me once and my only reaction (and something I find very appropriate) was standing up and leaving.
  5. “Twilight is so much better than Harry Potter.” Twilight fans, I have very little (if no) beef with you. But you’re saying this to a person with a Harry Potter backpack, Gryffindor socks, dress robes, a Sirius Black wand, a Hermione wand pen, and plenty of t-shirts, then I’m offended.
  6. “Luna Lovegood was annoying.” MAYBE if you actually read about her life story, you would know about the tragic loss in her life, how she is a RAVENCLAW, and that she is an amazing witch.
  7. “ABC Family’s Harry Potter weekends are getting old.” Just like all of your annoying comments.
  8. “The movies were better than the books.” You’re lucky I’d get arrested if I used any of the 3 Unforgivable Curses.
  9. “Neville is still lame.” Well, considering he never was lame, but later blossomed into a BEAUTIFUL LITTLE ROSE OF AWESOMENESS, you’re still wrong.
  10. “Is Dobby a goblin or something?” And I thought only dementors could suck souls.
  11. “If you’re a Potterhead...do you smoke pot?” Please back away, I don’t want to catch the stupid.
12. “Harry Potter is over. Move on.” Harry Potter isn’t over, nor will it ever be. That’s just a fact.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An Update On My Very Average Life

You may be asking me, “Kimia, why haven’t you posted in 200 million years?” (You also may not be). Well, my lovely readers (I say to my mom, the only person who probably reads this), school has consumed the tiny sliver of sanity I had regained this summer holiday. The extremely ironic bit of all of this is that this is probably my most hell-like, study prep madness weekend of the year and I’m choosing to spend that time complaining and updating you on my average life. While my best friend frolics in San Francisco and tours Berkley, I sit on my pistachio-colored futon with every book my school has ever given me and a crapton of scribbled notes scattered around me in a pool of desperation. But avoiding responsibilities and shopping for flowers are my two specialties and will probably be the headline for my college transcript. So, now it’s time for a quick update I always seem to be making. The school year started with the sound of whoopee cushion and a lot of late night ra...
Read more

SUICIDE SQUAD

Image
Let us all take a moment in appreciation and awe at how amazing the Marvel and DC franchises both are (mostly for giving us stills and sneak peeks that don’t absolutely suck). Despite my fresh, blooming rage (think flowers, not fire) for the upcoming movie “Pan”, the movies destined for 2016 have me more than excited to fast forward to their release dates (except for Christmas. I’m not missing Christmas). Despite my heavy involvement and passion for the Marvel fanbase, I’ve decided to turn my attention to the DC side of the spectrum. This, obviously, is for one reason. Drum roll please...SUICIDE SQUAD. I’d like the begin with an equation. Viola Davis + Cara Delevingne + Jared Leto + Margot Robbie = a very happy Kimia. For anyone who doesn’t know about this movie or has been living under a rock, here is a short synopsis on what’s going down in this villan filled thriller. A.R.G.U.S. (this super secret government agency) creates a task force with all of the most inten...
Read more